i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
