So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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