we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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