She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
