I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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