On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He did a backflip because drugs
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