Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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