If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This is my gift to your gina
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
