Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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