Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
