I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
