If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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