I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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