No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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