Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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