New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
