So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
