If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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