Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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