I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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