Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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