shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
