just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
