Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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