After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
