I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
