Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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