Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
