I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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