Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
