Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
