We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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