just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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