i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
