i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
