you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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