Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
