dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
