hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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