I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I need help removing her.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
