would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
