Just cropdusted the office
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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