Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
