Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
