you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
