If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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