Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
