I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
