i jhust puked up my retainher.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
