A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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