What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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