I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
